Its been awhile so I'll get you as good an update as I can. I am in day 3 of this 6th chemo treatment. They changed the mix this time due to weight loss and it has gone much better. Last time I mentioned it was really rough but this time its much much better. I don't know if its due to the mix or if I am just tolerating it better but the reaction to cold and fatigue have been much better. I feel the steroids stronger this time also and that helps - although I can't sleep very long (its 3:34 am as I write this and I already have a pot of Starbucks brewed).
The last couple days have been just georgous weather wise. On and off sunshine and temperatures that make you want to sit out the patio. Yesterday I was out almost all day - working in the yard, eating peanuts and grapes while resting on the patio and watching the sprinkler system run. What a pleasure - sunlight, green grass starting to grow (fescue - not bermuda thank God!), blue skys and white puffy clouds. I got enough sun yesterday I still feel it in my face today. But I would love to have people think I am retired and spend all my time on the golf course! (That probably isn't gonna happen since I don't know how to play golf).
Leah and Tim were home last weekend for a wedding and we had a blast seeing them and family. It seems like everyday last week was full which is how we try to plan the non-chemo weeks. Today I get the pump off and we will head for Newton to watch one of our grandsons (Noah) play flag football. I am teasing Sandy I am going to have to figure out how to tailgate party at 3rd grade football games.
Next week is an important week. The doctor has me scheduled for a cat scan on Monday then a week from next Tuesday we meet with the doctor and get the results. This is the first cat scan since I started chemo 3 months ago and we are praying the results will be spectacular. Please join us in prayers for this. All indicators are good although I still get scolded by the nurses for having too large of expectations for recovey. You who know me will understand that I always have large expectations.
Speaking of large - Sandy is throwing out all my fat clothes. I am maintaining my weight loss and we are glad for that. Although I would like to lose more weight to make the BMI cops happy the doctor doesn't want to see any weight loss - because of the fear that its the cancer causing it. So be it - I can live at this weight and feel good - and get the occasional important foods like cake, pie, ice cream - well, you get the idea.
I had two friends from the past at Boeing get ahold of me yesterday that had just heard from others in the network that I was sick. It was great talking with them. One dear friend has been to Lourdes in France with the Knights of Malta (I hope I got that correct - its a similar organization to Knights of Columbus). He brought some holy water back from Lourdes and will bring me some. I appreciate all faith based support and we had a great talk about his visit and look forward to more. So please keep passing on the news about me to your friends and acquaintances because I love the calls and visits. It makes my weeks and life better.
We officially have our house up for sale now. The extent of it is a sign out front. The house has been completed by the builder and we consider our own now. The yard is in and landscaping is sufficient for now. But I don't want to take less than I have in this place so I expect it will be awhile until it sells. So I get to live here and enjoy it all for now.
Well, the coffee is getting cold and its time for another cup. All for now - stay tuned and thanks so much for all your support - Gary
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Chemo keeps taking its toll Saturday 9/12/09
I am losing my optimism. Each time I take chemo I think it will get easier. It doesn't. It gets harder. The effects last longer. The fatigue is worse. The fingers hurt worse. The cold sensitivity gets worse. I'm getting tired of being sick. Are these the words of a chronic complainer? I hope not. I am coming off treatment #5 and while the numbers say I am getting better right now on day 5 of this chemo week I still have not bounced back like I think I should.
So we walk. When we can. And talk and tell each other how much we enjoy each moment we have together. Sandy is doing great things with the yard. And the sprinkler system installation has started. So by Halloween we should have great beautiful GREEN grass to feast our eyes on. Real grass - Fescue. Not bermuda. You know why? I got to choose! Whohoo!
I had a visit from my nephew today. Its great to have family. What a treasure. And we had a visit from friends. Wow - that makes the day go by fast. And then I took a well deserved nap. But I woke up in time to see the last half of the Notre Dame-Michigan game. Wow - when did college football become that much fun?
I'm looking forward to next week. Its a non-chemo week and we have it chockfull of activities. Starting with the Kansas State Fair on Monday. I am planning on eating a Pronto Pup. I hope my digestive track can handle it cuz its gonna happen.
All for tonight - stay tuned - thanks for listening - Gary
So we walk. When we can. And talk and tell each other how much we enjoy each moment we have together. Sandy is doing great things with the yard. And the sprinkler system installation has started. So by Halloween we should have great beautiful GREEN grass to feast our eyes on. Real grass - Fescue. Not bermuda. You know why? I got to choose! Whohoo!
I had a visit from my nephew today. Its great to have family. What a treasure. And we had a visit from friends. Wow - that makes the day go by fast. And then I took a well deserved nap. But I woke up in time to see the last half of the Notre Dame-Michigan game. Wow - when did college football become that much fun?
I'm looking forward to next week. Its a non-chemo week and we have it chockfull of activities. Starting with the Kansas State Fair on Monday. I am planning on eating a Pronto Pup. I hope my digestive track can handle it cuz its gonna happen.
All for tonight - stay tuned - thanks for listening - Gary
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Good Morning America! from Springfield, MO Sunday Sept. 6
We went to the oncologist Friday and received great news. The CEA marker (count) had dropped to 25. Yup - that's right - 25. The doctor was extremely pleased but warned me that he doesn't just manage to the numbers. So he made me get up on the workbench (not being in the medical field that's all I know to call it) and he started poking around on my stomach and neck. But when done he said I was doing superb. Wow. I hadn't lost any weight and he thought that was a good thing also.
So the bottom line is he thinks maybe I can go into a maintenance program by the first of the year. That means a modified chemo I think - but he mentioned that I wouldn't have to endure the pump for 2 days. Well, that's good news. While part of me dreads 4 more months of the bi-weekly chemo treatments the other part of me says buck it up cowboy and take your medicine.
I felt good enough to drive to Springfield, MO Friday. It was great to be back on the road. Saturday was my birthday and our son and grandson took us out to a Brazilian steak house - that was quite an experience and very enjoyable.
This last week has been filled with visiting with family and friends and I feel myself getting stronger all the time. If I over do it then I know that a long nap is coming. I still have to fight off the fatigue from the chemo but its getting better.
So the bottom line is he thinks maybe I can go into a maintenance program by the first of the year. That means a modified chemo I think - but he mentioned that I wouldn't have to endure the pump for 2 days. Well, that's good news. While part of me dreads 4 more months of the bi-weekly chemo treatments the other part of me says buck it up cowboy and take your medicine.
I felt good enough to drive to Springfield, MO Friday. It was great to be back on the road. Saturday was my birthday and our son and grandson took us out to a Brazilian steak house - that was quite an experience and very enjoyable.
This last week has been filled with visiting with family and friends and I feel myself getting stronger all the time. If I over do it then I know that a long nap is coming. I still have to fight off the fatigue from the chemo but its getting better.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Ted Kennedy dies
Ted Kennedy, the 3rd longest-serving senator in history, was diagnosed with a cancerous brain tumor in May, 2008 and underwent surgery and a grueling regimen of of radiation and chemotherapy. So by my calculations he survived 15 months after diagnosis. Cancer is no respector of people.
I met another colon cancer victim - (is that the right word? - what do you call us?) at the hospital yesterday. He is 42 years old. He had no idea he had it until it was too late and into stage 4. It has spread to his liver. He is messed up bad - just like I am. But you know what he said to me? He was grateful it hadn't spread to his brain. Wow. That set me back a little in my thinking. But what is this at age 42? How do you prevent this? Who would thing you should get colonoscopies starting at age 40?
So it brings one up short thinking about all this - survival. What a word. Enduring under adverse conditions is a dictionary definition that I'll go with. So I looked up cancer surviors on-line and found lots of web sites. Becoming a cancer survivor is the greatest challenge of my life. I'll try to do what I can. And trust the Lord for the rest.
My prayers go out to the Kennedy family and all others who have suffered from this horrible disease. My prayer is that God raises up scientists that can discover cures and preventions. What a field to go into. Are we challenging our youth in highschool to target becoming research scientists in this field? I hope so.
Stay tuned - Gary
I met another colon cancer victim - (is that the right word? - what do you call us?) at the hospital yesterday. He is 42 years old. He had no idea he had it until it was too late and into stage 4. It has spread to his liver. He is messed up bad - just like I am. But you know what he said to me? He was grateful it hadn't spread to his brain. Wow. That set me back a little in my thinking. But what is this at age 42? How do you prevent this? Who would thing you should get colonoscopies starting at age 40?
So it brings one up short thinking about all this - survival. What a word. Enduring under adverse conditions is a dictionary definition that I'll go with. So I looked up cancer surviors on-line and found lots of web sites. Becoming a cancer survivor is the greatest challenge of my life. I'll try to do what I can. And trust the Lord for the rest.
My prayers go out to the Kennedy family and all others who have suffered from this horrible disease. My prayer is that God raises up scientists that can discover cures and preventions. What a field to go into. Are we challenging our youth in highschool to target becoming research scientists in this field? I hope so.
Stay tuned - Gary
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Chemo Day Tuesday 8/25/09
This is one of those reflective days. I woke up strong. And tired of being a victim. I showed up at the hospital at 8:30 am to get the blood work done and finally got out around 2:30 pm. I got smart this time and took the naseau pill as soon as I got home. Other than my fingers feeling like needles I am doing ok so far.
Confound it all - the nurse called to say I didn't qualify for the fatigue study because that particular study is only for patients that are taking "curative treatment". So what I am I taking - obviously the "non-curative" treatment. Hmmpphh. Now I am really starting to get irritated. That's a good thing in my mind. If I am starting to get cranky about being a victim, tired of the talk about "can't be cured", and strong enough to get that attitude of "I'll show you, just get out of my way because here I come" going then I know I am getting better.
We finally figured out where we can get a brace for my foot. Leah was home this weekend and twice I stubbed my toes hard on the floor - ouch - that hurt - because the foot dropped and I forgot to pick it up. I doubt I wear it in the house but it sure would be nice to not have to take the cane on my walks. It makes me feel like an old man - and I don't like the way people look at me. Time to toughen up.
I sent Sandy on a hamburger run. For some reason a good old hamburger and fries sounds good tonight. With some of the Orange Crush Leah got for me. Hoorah - let's eat.
Stay tuned - Gary
Confound it all - the nurse called to say I didn't qualify for the fatigue study because that particular study is only for patients that are taking "curative treatment". So what I am I taking - obviously the "non-curative" treatment. Hmmpphh. Now I am really starting to get irritated. That's a good thing in my mind. If I am starting to get cranky about being a victim, tired of the talk about "can't be cured", and strong enough to get that attitude of "I'll show you, just get out of my way because here I come" going then I know I am getting better.
We finally figured out where we can get a brace for my foot. Leah was home this weekend and twice I stubbed my toes hard on the floor - ouch - that hurt - because the foot dropped and I forgot to pick it up. I doubt I wear it in the house but it sure would be nice to not have to take the cane on my walks. It makes me feel like an old man - and I don't like the way people look at me. Time to toughen up.
I sent Sandy on a hamburger run. For some reason a good old hamburger and fries sounds good tonight. With some of the Orange Crush Leah got for me. Hoorah - let's eat.
Stay tuned - Gary
Monday, August 24, 2009
Saturday Morning
I won't share the details but from the time I got up yesterday until the time I went to bed their were things going on with my body that were new and scary. Things I hadn't seen before. All night I worried about what today would bring. When I got up, I was afraid to start the normal morning routines. I didn't want to see and understand that things were worse.
Life is so fragile. Hope is so strong. As long as I had hope that I was getting better I was able to plan and look to the future. But with that gone I just crashed in my spirit. I don't want to die today. Or tomorrow. Or next week. I want to push it back, out of my mind, and laugh instead of cry.
Thank you Lord for one more day. Now the tears are tears of joy. Its time for coffee. And the paper. I'll wait for the sun to come up. And it will be good.
Shock Treatment: Friday, Aug. 21,2009
He said it wouldn't hurt. But by the time he figured out that the electrical signal from my right knee to my foot wasn't getting through (must be a short circuit I guess) he did the only thing he could do - crank up the amperage (volts or whatever was on the end of the dial) and shoot me with a good jolt of electricity. Ouch. That one got my attention. It got my leg's attention too because it started spasms on its own - jerking and flopping around like a fish out of water.
It was supposed to be simple - just a little neurological test with electricity and needles. So after the guy with the electricity got done shocking me (and the good leg too) he already knew there was a problem. Well, I knew their was a problem too. Then the doc came in with his long needle (it won't hurt....much....). And after the doc got done sticking the needle and humming and talking to himself and occasionally asking me if I was doing ok (sure - I sweat like this all the time doc) he agreed - there is a problem.
In laymen's terms the nerve that controls the foot ain't workin' from my knee down. And there is some minor damage to my good leg in the same areas. In a couple of weeks we find out the official diagnosis but for now we're sticking to the story that its a side effect of the chemo.
The good news is I was strong enough to be gone from the house for 11 hours today. And we ate out twice with family and friends (I highly recommend the double fried chicken with white gravy and mashed potatoes with white gravy at Cracker Barrel). What's it going to do - kill me? Ha!
We walked a couple of miles yesterday and I slept the night through. Great. Today I sat down on a friends couch in the afternoon and dropped right off to sleep. But don't we all want our afternoon naps?
So I am enjoying this non-chemo week watching the rain, making plans with my wife for the future (wow - I said it - we really are starting to make plans for the future so I must be feeling better).
Stay tuned - Gary
It was supposed to be simple - just a little neurological test with electricity and needles. So after the guy with the electricity got done shocking me (and the good leg too) he already knew there was a problem. Well, I knew their was a problem too. Then the doc came in with his long needle (it won't hurt....much....). And after the doc got done sticking the needle and humming and talking to himself and occasionally asking me if I was doing ok (sure - I sweat like this all the time doc) he agreed - there is a problem.
In laymen's terms the nerve that controls the foot ain't workin' from my knee down. And there is some minor damage to my good leg in the same areas. In a couple of weeks we find out the official diagnosis but for now we're sticking to the story that its a side effect of the chemo.
The good news is I was strong enough to be gone from the house for 11 hours today. And we ate out twice with family and friends (I highly recommend the double fried chicken with white gravy and mashed potatoes with white gravy at Cracker Barrel). What's it going to do - kill me? Ha!
We walked a couple of miles yesterday and I slept the night through. Great. Today I sat down on a friends couch in the afternoon and dropped right off to sleep. But don't we all want our afternoon naps?
So I am enjoying this non-chemo week watching the rain, making plans with my wife for the future (wow - I said it - we really are starting to make plans for the future so I must be feeling better).
Stay tuned - Gary
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