Saturday Morning

Its Saturday morning - early. I just came in from outside. Its cool and dark. The stars are brightly shining. I stood in the drive and cried and thanked the Lord for being able to see them one more day. Why? Fear had been my constant companion yesterday.


I won't share the details but from the time I got up yesterday until the time I went to bed their were things going on with my body that were new and scary. Things I hadn't seen before. All night I worried about what today would bring. When I got up, I was afraid to start the normal morning routines. I didn't want to see and understand that things were worse.

Life is so fragile. Hope is so strong. As long as I had hope that I was getting better I was able to plan and look to the future. But with that gone I just crashed in my spirit. I don't want to die today. Or tomorrow. Or next week. I want to push it back, out of my mind, and laugh instead of cry.

Thank you Lord for one more day. Now the tears are tears of joy. Its time for coffee. And the paper. I'll wait for the sun to come up. And it will be good.